we interrupt this program...

I love the photo above. Clearly I didn't take it as I am the lucky girl being kissed by the wonderful french cheese man. I want a cheese man. I need a cheese man!

Life is settling into it's regular ebb and flow now that I have been back for nearly a week. Has it really only been 5 days? It feels a lifetime ago, and yet, it is still right here - close to the surface. I have been doing a lot of thinking since my return. I actually started reassessing parts of my life while I was away. It seems easier sometimes, to really *look* at your life when you are temporarily removed from it. It is an odd thing because it is like seeing it from a strangers perspective and yet somehow, you have insiders knowledge at the same time. Confusing? Yes, well, if you think it is confusing, try being me!

One thing that I have been ruminating on continually since my return is my photography and where I want to go with it. As I live in my head much of the time, as well as the fact that I am COMPLETELY type-A, this is causing me to obsess a bit... You see, while I love the idea of being a bohemian photographer - wandering the planet, shooting what inspires me, and supporting it all by harvesting the money tree that grows on our little farm, the truth is, I need to actually focus and turn this crazy full-time hobby into something more. I need to somehow figure out what it is that drives me - what makes me feel so passionate about it - where I want it to go. The problem is it is far easier for me to say what I DON'T want to do with it than it is to figure out what it is that I DO want. Have I mentioned that I am fairly certain I have ADHD...?

Sooo.... My husband is away for the next nine days and I am hoping to take that time to really start to organize all of the thoughts and ideas that are currently running helter skelter in my head. I am incredibly blessed to be surrounded by some of the most inspiring, creative, driven photographers and artists out there, and some of them I consider my dearest friends. I am not shy about pulling them into all of this to help me figure it out. I need them. Truly.

I am also ALWAYS open to feedback, advice, input, etc. from any and all of you. One of the most difficult things that I find in all of this is seeing yourself from the "outside". I think that I, like many people, tend to be quite self-critical and thus, find it easier to see what it is that I don't like about my work than what I do like. And while you are all SO. INCREDIBLY. NICE. with all of your wonderful words and compliments, I am actually really looking for advice on a very practical level.

Paris, jour trois shall be here, hopefully tomorrow if I can get enough photo editing done. Sometimes I begin to work on it, and then become lost in the wonderful memories of it all~

xx