21 August 2009

hello? it's me

Hello there~

Remember me?

Come on, just give it a second.

Is it coming back to you? Oh, please tell me it is.

Please please.

Because I have missed you. I really, truly have missed you.

I don't know how I came to be gone for so long. Oh sure, life has gotten busy, wrapping up our summer, soccer season, back to school shopping, travel to distant lands. Okay, so maybe not distant lands, but the midwest seems rather distant some days.

And then there is my little shop. My poor, sad, neglected little shop. She has missed me - of that I am certain. And it isn't as if I haven't spent hours and hours making linen flowers. Hours on the plane. Hours at the airport. Hours while visiting my dad. And yet, I don't seem to ever have enough to complete all of the things I dream of completing. Back-orders keep me up at night. They weigh on my mind. Guilt has become my constant companion. I don't like my new friend much at all...

And don't even get me started on my house. Please don't take this the wrong way, but I am sorry - I just can't have you over for coffee today. There is no way you can come visit when this house is so dreadfully dirty! It simply won't do~ My cleaner, whom I adore, has decided to take the summer and visit her family in distant lands. Real, true distant lands. And no matter how often I dust. And vacuum. And wash. it is never really clean. Not like it is when she leaves. You know, that first five minutes after she is finished, when you lock the children outside, so that you can enjoy your perfectly clean house, by yourself, before it all goes to hell in a handbasket again. That five minutes. Oh, I do love that five minutes.

And you will notice I haven't even mentioned cooking. Or baking. I am hoping this is a byproduct of summertime. Life outdoors. Gardening. Bon fires. BBQs. Croquet. I have been so bad about actually feeding my crew this summer, it is embarrassing. Truly. Mortifying really.

Or what about Francis? If she was a child, CPS would be here by now. Probably the lady that cornered Kasey at Trader Joe's. Francis would have been carted off to a proper foster home, due to lack of attention, neglect, under-use. The poor girl - the only time I seem to pick her up lately is to shoot a photo of one of the boys, and that is only because I feel guilty (look - there it is again - GUILT) that I have so few photos of them from this summer. What sort of (camera)mother am I?!? What if she never forgives me? I could be destined to awful photos for years to come...

Honestly, I wish I had something that I could toss all of the blame for my absence on. I wish that I could use a serious head trauma, or a dead laptop, or, or, or, oh, I don't know - alien abduction. But really, I got nothin'. No reason at all. Don't get me wrong, I have wracked my brain for some reason that I have been so INCREDIBLY. UNINSPIRED. or inspiring for that matter. Computer burn out maybe? Month-long PMS? Un-aligned stars? And please, if you have a diagnosis you would like to offer, I am all ears! Truly.

So I am really, truly hoping that things will return to normal around here soon. Well, soon as in as soon as my husband, whom I really haven't seen for nearly two weeks comes home next Tuesday. And as soon as my dad, who comes next Tuesday as well, with #2, returns home the following Monday. Oh, and as soon as these little monkeys go back to school on the 2nd/3rd of September. So soon. Really soon.



Anonymous said...

Take your time, your posts are worth waiting for. In the meantime, we can always check out your old posts again, to remember you by.

A Gift Wrapped Life said...

I don't know you really well but I can say it looks like you have an awful lot on your plate so to feel this way at times should be normal. It is a by-product of being a creative person. It can be those downtimes that help the process along......as I tell my 27 yr. old son "don't be so hard on yourself". You are amazingly creative, I don't know how you do it all!

Lori said...

I think you are being too hard on yourself. Summertime is a time to let the housework slide ~ don't get me wrong, I like clean ~ as a matter of fact I rather enjoy it ~ but when it is humid out, who wants to be in mopping a floor that is not going to completely dry anyway.

As for Francis ~ I am sure that she is not feeling neglected...maybe just enjoying a little nap.

Stop with the mother guilt ~ you have enjoyed your summer thus far... photos are wonderful, but memories are even more precious!

((Hugs)) to you.

Christyrenee said...

I think all of your business and lack of posts is the sign of a truly fabulous summer! Busy maybe, but it really does sound fab!! But I can completely identify. I've felt the same way concerning the cleaning, cooking, baking, lack of pictures, etc. We have had a really rainy summer here and bc of that haven't done much. It makes me feel like a bad Mommy, lol. But stuff happens. I think it sounds like you are doing a GREAT job juggling everything on your plate while still finding time to have a nice summer with your family ;)

Christyrenee said...

Oops ... I totally meant to say "busyness" (if that's how you spell it, as is super-busy, not "business" LOL

Kimberly said...

I have missed you, but will wait an eternity. I know exactly how you feel. In fact you perfectly articulated my feelings!!! Minus the Trader Joes because we don't have one:( School starts here on monday, and I swear it will take me a month to dig the house out.
Sit back and relax. Life will slow down. Don't rush it. Enjoy the small stuff. We all love you!
xxx kim

Jill said...

I hear you loud and clear sister! You will get there....

Simply Mel said...

The crisp sweetness of Fall is just around the corner...and you will return soon! :)

Dustjacket Attic said...

Oh you are too funny, loved your post. To be honest with all you have going on in your life I don't know how you post at ALL! Seriously you are like superwoman to me!

I totally relate to the cleaner story, it's like disaster when they go on hol's, heck!

Take it easy my friend, and don't be so hard on yourself.

Chez Zizi said...

You are so funny. It will come back.

Anonymous said...

Kimberly, you are being way too hard on yourself, because as much as we miss you, and wish you were here sitting with us over coffee, It sounds like you are taking care of your family, of your little ones, doing things that are necessary for your life to run smoothly. Don't worry about us, we are always here, waiting, and so is the house...cleaning is the worst job ever and it will ALWAYS be there! Take a deep breath and stop apologizing...we love you no matter what! :)


kath@retromantic antiques said...

Boy did you ever express exactly what I have been feeling! What is it anyway? I am hoping for the change in seasons to help. I think we all get wrapped up in how we think others live from all of the beautiful images out there. I think really we are all much more like what you expressed with moments of creativity and beauty. Enjoy the moment. kath